Postponed.

My mission papers were officially submitted May 2nd and I had been waiting patiently {kind of?} for my call to come, well some time had passed and so the Stake President called the mission department to see what was going on. It turns out that after someone has a panic attack they have to wait 6 months to even submit papers. My last one was in January...so I was told I have to wait until the end of June and then resubmit my papers. So many emotions ran through my mind: disappointment, anger, sadness, confusion, and finally peace.

Its hard being excited about something and then being told that the good efforts you are trying to make aren't enough. I know I will go on a mission and technically a month isn't that long but it feels like an eternity to me. Honestly. All I could think about was going to church and having everyone come up to me asking me if I heard any news or had gotten my call yet, and while I am so grateful to be surrounded by loving, supportive people all around me it's very disheartening to always have people asking you questions you can't answer. And then having to tell everyone why I had to resubmit my papers. Not that its a bad thing but it is personal, and not something I told hardly anyone, I mostly kept it to myself and liked it that way. Mostly I just didn't want anyone worrying about me. [so don't worry, I'm goooood] 

As I mentioned earlier five main emotions passed through me, disappointment, anger, sadness, confusion, and finally peace. The first four are pretty self explanatory as to why I was feeling those but the last one not so much. While this news was pretty sucky to hear, after waiting almost a month thinking I was going to get my call any day hearing that I would have to wait another month to even submit my papers and then start this waiting period over was not exactly the highlight of my day. After feeling sorry for myself for a little bit I decided to stop it. There was no point in being sad and all sorrowful when there was nothing that I could do about it. No matter what I had to wait until the end of June to turn my papers in there was no getting around that, nothing I could do could make it go faster. Life happens. "If we were given everything we wanted right then, what would we work for?" Mostly I was disappointed because I had everything planned out and I wanted it to go exactly how I had planned (not because I'm stubborn or anything......) because obviously, I know best. WRONG. Oh I was so wrong. I don't know anything, let's be honest. I should have known by now that when I try to plan things like this in my life they just don't work out the way I plan them to, I should expect this by now. I know everything will work out better than what I planned simply because it's not in my hands. I know that I will serve my mission where and when I need to serve. I was talking to a good friend about all this when I was still feeling all sad for myself and he said "If you know what God wants you to do, there is literally nothing that can stop you. Simple is that." And as much as I hate to admit it, how right is he? 

So yes my mission is going to be postponed a little bit, but that's alright. It's better actually! Things will work out the way they need to. I have faith. I'm going on a mission to serve God so shouldn't I go when he needs me to? 

Mission

Hello! So I decided to make this my mission blog because my other blog is my personal one and this one was used for a religion class so it's perfect for a mission!
As of today my papers are officially in. Oh. My. Goodness. Excited is an understatement, I am overjoyed to be going on a mission. I'm not going to lie, it's been a really hard trying experience. I have never once (since I decided to go) doubted that I wanted and needed to serve a mission, but that doesn't always mean it's easy. There have been plenty of time when other {worries} have crept into my mind, especially when it comes to family [not that I'm worried for my family or anything] but just all the things I'd be missing out on. Here was my main list:

•  Babies. (Sarah's child that is in her belly and if anyone else gets pregnant while I'm gone). This one hit me hard-- to not even MEET my niece/nephews for a year and a half that's a long time to miss out on.
• Simply being able to spend time/call my siblings/parents whenver I wanted/needed to. I rely on my family so much and the strength, love, and support I have always received from them. Not being able to communicate regularly will be difficult. 
• Marriages-- don't get me wrong I would be so happy ecstatic if any of you got married while I was gone! But it would also be extremely hard to not be able to be there with you. {I was already promised to be a cardboard cutout for picture ;) that eased my worries a little}
• Being away from school-- I came home to prepare for my mission and while I am so happy to be at home I miss school, roommates, friends, and my sisters up there. It is hard to see everyone up there having a blast making memories and not be there. 
• Relationships-- this one is interesting. I know I need to serve a mission and I want to serve one but in the back of my mind there is this little corner of worry that maybe I'm missing out on a relationship that could be a future husband, but then the smarter part of my brain knows that I don't need to worry about this and it will all work out after I serve a mission. 

That's my list, it's not very long but everything on there is extremely important to me, I knowt things will be different when I come home I've learned to accept that people will be married/have babies and many other things I probably wouldn't even think would happen, will, but that's life. As I've talked to people/prayed about my worries I've come to one conclusion: 

I'm going on a mission, the Lord will bless me so all these "worries" [if they do happen] won't matter. The Lord will give us nothing we can't handle. So why would this promise not be the same for missionaries with these worries? I know that going on a mission is the right thing for me so these worries will all be okay. Yes, it might still be hard but life is hard. If I chose to stay home I would still face hard things, so why not face them while doing the Lords work?

One night I was having a rather hard time, I was thinking of every possible thing to worry/doubt and having a panic attack. I sat down and decided to make my doubts real. I wanted to make them real so that I could find a way to start doubting my doubts instead of my faith. So I wrote them down I decided to say a prayer, write them down, and have faith that the Lord would ease my mind or answer my doubts. Wow was I amazed. As I went to write them down all those worries that I wrote above vanished, to the point where I didn't even think they were a big enough deal to write down. All I could think of were two doubts {only two} out of everything racing through my mind that night (and the past couple weeks) it came down to two.
Before I could even finish writing down my first doubt the answer to take that doubt away came to me. And same with the second. I wrote them down in my journal so if I ever doubted again I could look back and either add to that list, or see that whenever I have doubt the Lord will give me peace.

So, if you are ever feeling doubt, worry, or anything unsettling: pray. I promise that the Lord will give you rest, he will ease your mind and take away your doubts.

The Savior's Instructions about the Holy Ghost

1. What did the Savior teach about (1) what the Holy Ghost does and (2) what disciples must do to receive the Holy Ghost:

• John 14:15-17- the Holy Ghost is a comforter. To receive the Holy Ghost disciples must keep the commandments. 
• John 14: 26-27- he teaches, he gives peace. Disciples must not be troubled or afraid.
• John 15: 26-27- he testifies of Christ,. Disciples must bear witness of Christ.
• John 16: 7-8- he reproves the world of sin, and of righteousness and of judgement.
• John 16: 13-14- he will guide you in all truth, show all things to come, glorify Christ, and show it unto you.

2. Add to your list above as you study the following resources:

• Institute student manual Points to Ponder, "The Holy Ghost Brings Man to His Fullest Potential" (pg. 168)- The Holy Ghost helps with everything even wisdom and intellect. It develops everything of good nature like sympathy, joy, kind feelings, and affection. The Holy Ghost inspires virtues such as kindness, goodness, tenderness, gentleness, charity, and virtue. It beautifies everything it touches even people. The Holy Ghost is everything to us, as the manual said "It is, as it were, marrow to the bone, joy to the heart, light to the eyes, music to the ears, and life to the whole being."
• Institute student manual Points to Ponder, "As a Messenger of the Godhead, the Holy Ghost Teaches Faithful Members" (pg. 168)- The Holy Ghost is a likeness of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, he instructs and enlightens the minds of those who keep the commandments, he bears witness of the truth and reveals mysteries of the kingdom of God to those who have made covenants, he is a special messenger. Disciples must be faithful in keeping their commandments in order to have the Holy Ghost. 
• Bible Dictionary, "Holy Ghost" (pg. 704)- The Holy Ghost is a power and a gift. The power is the convincing witness that the gospel is true it's what we get testimonies from. The gift is a cleansing agent that purifies us from sin. Disciples have to be baptized and conferred to have the gift of the Holy Ghost, they have to be worthy of the companionship.

3. Review your list of what the Holy Ghost does. Then write responses to the following tasks: 

• Describe how the Holy Ghost helped the Apostles fulfill their missions after the Savior's death and resurrection. 
• After the Savior died the Holy Ghost helped the Apostles fulfill their missions by letting them know what to do. The Spirit guided them in what they should teach and who they should teach, instead of having Christ there to help teach them what to do the Holy Ghost was their new companion.
• Write a paragraph about a time when the Holy Ghost blessed you in one of the ways you listed above. Give an example of how the Holy Ghost has inspired you. 
• I have been lucky to have been blessed by the Holy Ghost on multiple occasions in multiple different ways. One specific incident that I remember quite well because it just happened this semester was the Holy Ghost guiding me in truth and showing me what I was to do. I was having a really tough time deciding whether or not I needed to move to Utah or stay at BYU-Idaho, I couldn't decide what was right. At first I felt like I needed to move to Utah and I felt super strong about it and then as things started falling in place my parents told me they didn't support that idea anymore. I was very confused. I fasted, prayed, read my scriptures I had no idea what I was supposed to do. I got a blessing and it still didn't tell me. I was at a loss, and then one morning I was doing my homework and it just popped in my head loud and clear that I needed to stay in Idaho. I tried to ignore it saying it was just me saying that but it would not go away. I couldn't focus on my homework because the thought was so loud. I put down my homework and read my scriptures and felt good about staying in Idaho even though it wasn't what I wanted at first. I still don't know exactly why I'm supposed to stay in Idaho but I know that I will be happiest here because the Holy Ghost confirmed that to me.
• The Holy Ghost has inspired me many times. It has inspired me to say something to someone or to leave nice notes for my roommates when I wasn't sure why and then I would find out later they were going through a hard time and really needed words of encouragement. 

A New Commandment

1. Others will know that we are disciples of Christ if we show love to everyone, Christ has never ending love to everyone and so we need to show that same love.
2. If someone were being ridiculed or made fun of for the way they dressed I feel like Jesus Christ would stand up for that person. He would make sure that they didn't feel alone and try to stop the others from ridiculing without being mean. He would make the person being made fun of feel loved.
If someone were new at church I feel like Jesus Christ would go up to them introduce himself and be their friend. He would show them where their class was and sit by them so they wouldn't be alone.
3. I hope that by the way I act everyone I come in contact with knows that I am a disciple of Christ. I am going to focus on my old roommate who is on a mission and write her a letter of uplifting words because she is having a hard time with her new companion. So I am going to try to be like Christ and uplift and love her so hopefully she can love her companion!

Preparing for the Savior's Second Coming

1. Mark 13: 5, 9, 23, 33, 35, 37 and identify the words take heed and watch in each verse. List at least three things from this chapter that believers could watch for in order to be prepared to meet the Lord.

Three things that believers could watch for in order to be prepared to meet the Lord are:
1. Men trying to deceive you
2. Being brought before rulers and kings for Christ
3. What the Lord has already warned us for

2. Explain in writing any other additional truths that are taught in the following references about how to prepare for the Second Coming of Jesus Christ.

• D&C 87:8- It cometh quickly so be prepared now, stand in holy places be immovable.
• Joseph Smith- Matthew 1:32- Listen to the voice of the Lord he will strengthen you during the destruction, he has promised that if you listen to his word he will fight your battles for you.
• Joseph Smith- Matthew 1:37- Treasure the Lords word and continue to endure to the end if you do the angels will protect you.
• Joseph Smith- Matthew 1:46-50- Always be prepared for the Second Coming of Christ, be a faithful and wise servant.
• D&C 33:17-Be faithful, pray always, always be prepared- have oil in your lamp.
• D&C 45: 56-57- Have oil in your lamp, receive the truth, do not be deceived. 

Temporal Marriage and the Resurrection

1. The Sadducee's believed there is no resurrection, no spirit, or angel. I believe that that means that the Sadducee's question was sincere, they were truly curious as to what would happen since they believed there was no resurrection.
2. Matthew 22:30 does not say there will be no eternal marriage in the resurrection just that no marriages will be performed, there is a difference because marriage will be eternal we know that but that is why it is so important to go to the temple in the life.

• "In the resurrection there will be no marrying nor giving in marriage; for all questions of marital status must be settled before that time, under the authority of the Holy Priesthood, which holds the power to seal in marriage for both time and eternity."
• Doctrine and Covenants 132:15-16 help us understand Matthew 22:30 because it goes into much more depth about how it's not that there is no marriage in the resurrection but that we have to bind that marriage on Earth in order for there to be an eternal marriage. 
• I feel like the main reason there is not marriage in the resurrection is because we are commanded to have temple marriages here and we have to live worthy to have those and continue to live worthy which shows our obedience and dedication to the Lord whereas if we knew we could just get married in the resurrection we wouldn't strive as hard to live worthy and make that covenant now. 

Earthly and Heavenly Rewards

1.

• The indications I got that the young man decided not to follow the Savior were that when the Savior told him all he needed to do was to sell all he had to the poor he went away sorrowful because of all the great things he had instead of gladly going and selling his possessions.
•  The Savior promised that those who make sacrifices to follow him will sit in the throne of glory, will receive an hundredfold, and have everlasting life.
• The Savior tells Peter that anyone who follows him and puts the Lord above all else will receive an hundredfold more than they ever had on Earth. It can be hard to put aside the things of the world and follow the Lord, to completely get rid of all worldly things but with what he tells Peter its worth it. Our reward in heaven is so great if we can make the sacrifices here on this Earth. 

2.

The hours the laborers were hired	How much they agreed to pay	Hours worked	How much they were actually paid
Early in the morning	Penny a day	Twelve hours	Penny
Third hour	Whatsoever is right	Nine hours	Penny
Sixth hour	Whatsoever is right	Six hours	Penny
Ninth hour	Whatsoever is right	Three hours	Penny
Eleventh hour	Whatsoever is right	One hour	Penny

3. The Lord doesn't care when we join his kingdom as long as we come unto him and serve him eventually. This can bring comfort to converts because sometimes converts can feel like because they haven't been in the church that long they don't know as much or aren't as good as the people who have been members their whole life but this parable shows that the Lord doesn't matter when we come unto him, the reward is the same.I would tell someone who thought it was unfair for each of the laborers to be paid equally that the Lords time is different than our time, he doesn't care about the time we've spent he cares about how righteous we have been in that time, he looks in the heart, not on the world.